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Good morning Beuatiful People,

I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience. I have just discovered that I had not saved the edited version of yesterday’s post (Past Tense Dies) before publishing.

The final version is now waiting for your discerning eye and comments. ;-)

Thank you so much for understanding.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Good morning, Beautiful People!

As soon as I integrate an emerging aspect of the self, a new one pops up, screaming to be recognized, hugged and invited to flourish in my awareness. I wholeheartedly welcome each one in spite of the difficulties involved in supplanting destructive beliefs.  Difficulties challenge my resistance to freedom from past tense thinking, feeling, speaking and doing. And yes, past tense-based intentions also!

Purpose of past tense

Generically speaking, past tense informs you that something has already happened. It is a finished product. Therefore, it can never be altered or undone. I was, you did, it happened. Thoughts, words, intentions, events or acts can never ever revert back to an unexpressed idea; just as a timepiece does not rewind itself; just as the thing born can never return to gestation. Time appears gradually to subtract life from the subject, to diminish possibilities. Not true of course unless you believe it!

Time for me is a mental concept: a sequential emergence of intention, speech, situations, growth, creativity and awakening. Nothing moves forward or backwards because in the static now moment is a continuous emergence of ideas called forth into physical form via an infinite number of sustained intentions.

So past tense is essentially a reference library to facilitate clear communication or simply to entertain. Otherwise, you misuse the faculty of memory with endless reruns of past events, wishes, regrets and fantasies.

Abusing the past

You become so amorous with memories that you ignore the opportunities and resources (to materialize your current intentions) that are already here in this moment. In order to feel alive, you embellish delusions and collect pity or adulation to avoid autonomy. You incessantly exhume the “good ‘ole days”, hoping they will miraculously rise from the dead. Or you drag listeners into a scenario of a hapless victim enduring extreme suffering. Oh my, woe is me! Why? Victims get exempted from responsibilities!

living in the past

Digging up memories

But feasting on yester thoughts destabilizes the body and starts the withering process. Look and you will sense similitude between past tense dwellers and dilapidated shacks. This is one of the major causes of chronic loneliness, paranoia and feelings of alienation from the self. You tend to make other people responsible for your misery or happiness when, in fact, it is unconsciously self-inflicted or contrived.

Eventually though, you grow weary of aimlessly wandering around with your head turned 180%, expecting to find happiness in the graves of your mind. You want congruence, inclusion, to be an authentic participant  in this world. You want to be true to yourself, to see what that truth IS for YOU. And you can, starting now…if you can accept challenges as a fundamental instrument for growth and success.

Sometimes challenges disguise themselves as omnipotent enemies or strings of disappointing situations or phantom lovers. More vigilant than flees, they hound you day and night; and no amount of intellectual trickery can wipe them out. Their sole objective is to dismantle a primal instinct to hide from your own mischief. Challenges—one’s own innate volition—‘force’ you to see how YOU are totally responsible for the minutiae you experience. You will draw unto you that which is aligned with your current state of being. And you alone decide that state.

Putting past tense to rest

Within the now moment is the permanent opportunity to use all the fresh ideas you can in any way you want to. No questions, no prerequisites, no judgment whatsoever, except your own resistance to live fully, freely and joyously, which can only happen in the now. Then why do you flee from the actions you want to take? You are clinging to self-limiting beliefs formulated from direct or indirect experiences. That is why you are easily distracted and (like a hopeless addict) engage in activities that sap your energy. You procrastinate. Your fear-based beliefs prevent you from committing to your intentions. They cripple your attempts to persist, concentrate on and complete best actions. That said, Do not despair! I have discovered in myself a process that is working for me.  Allow me to share this with you.

In order to accept and love yourself as you are, you first must understand, approve of and love who you were and the past as it was. (Warning: Self-deception does not work here.)

Acknowledge the facts about every scenario that comes to mind. Accept what the past and you, were, not are. Step aside and observe the thoughts and emotions that surface. Neither resist nor drag them on, opting for self-pity. Let them surface and dissolve naturally.

Follow your intuitive thread and see how you played your part in creating and responding to your reality. Writing down your insights enables you to see deeper that you were 100% responsible, as every person involved is totally responsible for their part.

Layers of emotions will surface. Let them. Remember to allow. Do not attempt to control or prove anything. Do not put a time limit on this process. Revisit each step as many times as required to reach clarity.

Have compassion and forgive yourself, everyone and everything involved UNTIL you transcend the habit of judging (an escape from responsibility) and reach complete clarity on your total participation in a past reality. It only reflected your inner state of being at that time. The beliefs, habits, self-image that you brought into this lifetime spilled over into your childhood and beyond. Accept and learn from these. They are clues to complete healing.

At some point, you will discover there is nothing to forgive after all—it was an experiment to  point you towards the self that you came here to expose to the world in your own magnificent way.

Allow yourself to completely accept and love the past and yourself as you were. There is nothing mushy or dramatic about this. It happens naturally as you surrender to what was.

Appreciate yourself, everyone, everything involved in your yester moments—how perfectly ordered, loving, liberating the universe is; how you are free to create any experience you can imagine, always reflecting your state of being, the place in which you stand in awareness of the self.

Be grateful for the opportunity to experiment in playing the game of life as you see fit: discovering, awakening, unfolding more and more of the real you. Be grateful that past tense reality is not to be hoarded but to be released… deliberately.

Now you can love yourself deeply as you are. You can unconditionally share your love in thought, speech, intention, acts and attitude because you have achieved freedom from guilt, regret, blame, shame and arrogance. Your mind and body are present right here, right now. Everything you want is surrounding you. No more waiting, hoping, conniving. Limitless opportunities and possibilities, resources of every kind required, solutions, undiscovered ideas and ‘the right’ people surround you round the clock. Are you ready for this natural state of wealth and living?

When I approve of and accept myself as I was and for everything I did, then I can love myself as I am and enjoy what I am doing.

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! ;-))

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit:  Grave Digger, 3sigma.com

Copyright © 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminine®. All rights reserved worldwide.

Good morning Beautiful People,

Did you know that the greatest lovers act alike. You can feel their presence before meeting them. They appear to do nothing but simply bask in their own love. You are drawn to them in spite of yourself. Their eyes and smile say, “Hi! Welcome home! I love you!”

Every flower and star, every animal and person, every piece of music and mechanical object that attracts your attention wants you to share your love with them. And equally you must. For they are a physical representation of an unconscious part of you—neglected or scorned or taken for granted. Now is the moment to notice, appreciate and to include those aspects of you disguised in various forms of living beings and things.

The greatest lover appreciates and gives totally of himself whether the receiver is sweet or sour, hot or bitter…or bland in character. For he instantly sees his reflection in the receiver.

How can you become the greatest lover? Decide to. Decide to express the fullness of what you are: all-encompassing LOVE. So the question to pose is, “Do I really want to love myself completely?” If yes, then you must include every aspect of you that emerges in the now moment.

You can start by practicing the following suggestions.

Become vigilant in monitoring your habit to avoid sharing your love because you have judged yourself, another person or thing as undeserving, unworthy of consideration, forgiveness, happiness and inclusion. If you peek behind your judgment, you will see these dreaded qualities in others, in yourself. Remember, the only thing you love or hate is you.

Examples of judging can look like malicious gossip, revengeful acts, crashing the accomplishments of folks you envy, criticism, selective amnesia (deliberately omitting positive information), blatant rejection of a person in order to appear superior, powerful in the eyes of others…

Let go of the world’s mesmeric idiocy that sharing love with one will prevent you from sharing with another. The more love you share, the more you will have to share. We are not speaking of sex here. Copulation is not synonymous with love, as you well know. Sharing love is an act of ultimate intelligence, self-awareness, spiritual maturity and authenticity. It is the broadest kindness and sincerity. It is respect and love of the self.

Mentally replace your ill speech reflex with I love you. This includes your thoughts, attitude, emotions, behavior, actions… It is unimportant whether you feel love in the moment or not. You may even feel hateful. But IF your intention is to share what you are, all-encompassing Love, and to acknowledge, accept and include that part of you that is emerging, you will learn and outgrow your habit of self-rejection.

I Love My Selves

The benefits of being the greatest lover are freedom from cowardice, persistent joy and living a life overflowing with magnificent experiences in all directions. Because you are no longer engaged in ill speech in your head or with others, you will have a constant flow of energy and time will expand to accommodate your intentions. You will remain in your natural state of all-encompassing Love.

The greatest lover does not hide from any facet of herself. She places each in the center of her heart.

And you?

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! ;-)

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit: onepeacefulword.wordpress.com

Copyright © 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminine®. All rights reserved worldwide.

Good morning Beautiful People,

It goes to show that any little thing can momentarily thwart your plans though not your core intention! Rather than a text format, I had planned a first try to publish a video post. But instead, I contracted debilitating pneumonia-like symptoms that further deteriorated into acute laryngitis…knocking me down on my knees for two months.

Time for Solitude

Medical results revealed a benign weakness in the lungs that got inflamed. Doctors recommended I tweak my diet, keep my body extra warm during cold weather and abort coughs at the start. Though not the least surprised, I was relieved to hear that I am disease free, as healthy as a wild horse!

The only reason I am yakking about my little problem is not to complain or elicit sympathy but to share an overview of the insights I gained during those weeks of excruciating discomfort. Is that not the purpose of suffering—to lovingly jolt us into alert awareness of parts of ourselves we have ignored? Even though I was preoccupied with undergoing exams and tests for several days, a part of me observed in detached certainty that I would triumph. I knew, as countless times before, that I had to discover the original cause of my problem if I wanted to outgrow it.

From my podium: I alone create the life I live; no one else can alter or control it even if they wanted to. And neither can I interfere in another’s creation. elderly re coughing & false teeth

That is because every human being is responsible for constructing their experience on earth. You are continuously attracted to your own lifework reflected in circumstances, events and in all the ‘others’ you notice. To explain: the point in which you stand in awareness is always perfectly played out in every detail of your existence. Otherwise, zero state of awareness would result in zero life experience—inertia begets inertia. What a good thing! What freedom! How fun to create, ponder, learn and grow from the results and promptly invent fresh ideas. What a thrill to make new decisions and direct all four feet into the unknown!

Okay, how do I know that? I know because, so far, I have traced each of my challenges and current situation back to my own repetitive thoughts, emotions, beliefs, decisions and activities. I take full responsibility for every little or big thing that has ever ‘happened to me’, which includes prior events that allowed the perfect scenario for birth into this human form: from post-natal dramas to the seamless unfoldment of self, up through present time…all in divine sequence. I am the initiator, conceptualizer, principle player and every person, place or thing represents an aspect of me in some way. Yep, including the sweet, sour or bitter. Therefore, that which I have experienced within me beomes visible as my what-is reality. No exceptions!

But what if I dislike what I have manifested or forever want to keep it?

hop scotch woman

i can!

Before I respond, allow me to offer my interpretation of ‘what-is’ and ‘resistance’.

What-is is a finished product, unalterable here now reality. Its origins emerge from  an individual’s thoughts and emotions and increase via countless other people on the same wavelength. In other words, your thoughts combine with the thoughts of every person of the same frequency. Included are sustained beliefs, speech, attitude, behavior, preferences and actions. What-is is the untouched-up physical exhibition of your inner lifework up til now.

Resistance is the expression of deeply engrained fear—rigid refusal to allow yourself and all other living beings and things their beingness—to be authentic, true to self, to explore, create and grow in their own unique way. In the moment you are resisting, you are perceiving the appearance of separation around you, so you surmise that the universe is insufficient, prejudiced, haphazard or incomplete. You feel alone, terrified, vulnerable, in danger. Hence, competition, greed, hoarding and narcissism become the platforms from which you function.

Well, when you resist what-is, you are attempting to defile the perfectness of love expressing as life. Your first reflex is to mentally collate what-is into right or wrong, good or bad, keep or kill. Next, the delusional part of you tries to exert authority over others. Imagine:

Me, standing haughtily on a wimpy puff of clouds, blown across the skies by winds of whim and pettiness, peering down on a hapless mass of homo sapiens that are scratching the earth searching for approval, identity and purpose, begging me to control their destiny and to declare my assessment of their unworthiness.

To entertain the idea that you can hold on to or destroy what-is is a symptom of insanity. No? Look around in your infinite mind. Scrutinize your fickle emotions. What is the incentive for war? I am sure you will agree that no one is able to grasp a handful of fog, fold it flat and stuff it into your shirt pocket. Can you roll back five minutes of your life and relive it? Last week’s happiness (and sorrow) is a stale and boring memory…like retelling the episodes of how you learned to sit on a potty chair. Let that memory die!

Are you courageous enough to invite your greater self to emerge today, in this very minute? Are you intelligent enough to decide for your own pleasure? Are you confident enough to allow YOU to express your ever-expanding beauty, wholeness, unique gifts and talents and have fun like a five year old? Do you respect and love yourself enough to laugh at the ignoramus comments from intimate others and do what you want to do anyway?

joyous living like a 5 yr old

Happy to be here!

I know you can because I am doing it. And I am you. But it is up to you and only you have the authority, time and free resources to live exactly as YOU please. I said, “Free” because everything you will ever need is already within you…like the seeds of redwoods, like the eggs of people and animals… The moment you decide, you will have started your new adventure: to live fully, freely and joyously. Have fun!

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! ;-)

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit: minniepauz.com, cartoonstock.com, clipartof.com

Copyright © 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminine®. All rights reserved worldwide.

Good morning Beautiful People!

Part two of article, Chic Pavlovians, starts with a quote from the last post: “Worse, they eagerly pay to be a guinea pig for experimental facial or whole body makeovers.

Denatured!

Everything created has a lifespan. Everything crafted is destructible. Everything learned can be transmuted. Including your knee jerk reactions, your conditioned reflexes to join the chic clique of robot consumers and laboratory guinea pigs for the pharmaceutical industry…remember Pavlov’s dogs? You can take back control of your mind by discovering your (not other folks’) values and priorities and act from that platform. Why dilute the richness of your original you by duplicating destructive personalities and behavior when being your authentic self is so effortless and extremely attractive and it lasts a lifetime?

You have chosen to discount your natural beauty, magnificent uniqueness and subject your delicate body to physical and psychological torture. So why do you shout, “I’m a helpless victim! Feel sorry for me! Love this person I hate!” Blaming incompetent or charlatan doctors for mutilating your flesh will not exonerate you from personal responsibility. It was your own volition to be a trial specimen. And it is only you who can decide to search the depths of your authentic self and discover your true identity, which has nothing to do with anyone else.

One woe-is-gullible-me strategy for avoiding responsibility is to ignore the dubious information your doctor prescribes or hideous work environments. Why behave as if your body belongs to someone else…like beasts marching to a slaughterhouse. Nature is beautiful in the eyes of its individuated selves but only human beings loathe their own anatomy to the extent they take extreme risks to resemble a 23 year old as much as cosmetically possible.

Note: If these surgeries were corrective or restorative interventions because of disease, accidents, birth defects or disfigurement from aggression, for examples, I would not be writing this article.

Now I also enjoy pampering and adorning my body (socially appropriate) while maintaining my individuality. It is a fun challenge and demonstration of physical awareness, artistry, beauty and sexual attraction. Hey! Is not every animal essentially alike! However, the idea to butcher and patch up my body like a fifth-generation quilt so that I can try to dupe folks into believing I am a rare bird that defies her age or closely resembles the current celebrity, is not at all my perception of elegance and authenticity.

The compulsion that drives you to hack off body parts, extract sections of innards like workers pumping out sewage or to inject or implant foreign matter without considering the consequences, emerges from strong self-contempt. Just as destructive is your decision to empty your cash reserves or forego basic necessities of living in order to purchase a persona so that you can compete for or maintain a life partner or job position. You are only chasing a perverse image of your self. And substituting material things and fake looks for self-awareness and self-respect will not bring you lasting happiness and will definitely not rid you of anxiety. Media adverts, reality or sob story talk shows, gossip news and billboard ads target people who would rather be anything but self.

Initially, you may wonder how you fell out of sync with authenticity. Well, you simply forgot your identity: a whole exquisite being that is born with every possible thing needed to flourish and live the most joyous, loving, creative, successful, fun, vibrant life beyond your imagination. You believe that happiness, beauty and freedom are commodities to sacrifice for; in fact, these qualities are already yours, whether you allow them to emerge from and through you or not. Your state of self-forgetfulness is not permanent though…unless you lack the courage to know the real you.

Some questions to ask and answer for yourself:

  • Am I willing to get acquainted with the person I’ve been living with from moment one?
  • When did I start to feel inferior, ashamed of my appearance? Natural talents? Original ideas? Deepest desires?
  • When was the last time I was authentic and true to myself for more than five seconds?
  • What in me makes me want to copycat people?
  • How can I stop following soulless crowds of robots?
  • When is the best time to strut my gifts, talents, elegance, and deliver my contribution on this planet?
  • Am I ready to experience the life of my dreams? Do I even know what that dream is?!
  • Whose opinion of me is more important than my own intuitive knowing?

Remember this: Everything created has a lifespan. Everything crafted is destructible. Everything learned can be transmuted. You can take back control of your mind by exploring the depths of your self, right here where you stand in life, right now this very day.

Did you know that when you stare into a mirror in order to see yourself, an image of the sweet, unpolluted beauty of your youth emerges? And when you sincerely accept and love this image, it will remain visible, a constant reminder of your fearless, joyous, confident self. First, it radiates through your face. When you are more receptive of you, your entire body will feel and appear to be more and more vibrant and youthful. So why wait? Try it now!

Sidebar: From time to time, I will recommend my favorite products and services. My purpose is NOT for any form of personal gain, rather to share good things with my treasured readers.

For the most deeeelicious, purest and highest quality organic coconut oil and a wide range of coconut products and merchandise on the Continent — swift delivery and professional service — speak English, French & German, go and visit La Maison du Coco http://www.lamaisonducoco.fr.  They regularly add new products so feel free to e-mail them for additional information. The recipes are simply yummy! You can also find them at the various health & well-being exhibitions in France.

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! ;-)

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit: meditourists.com; andertoons.com

Copyright © 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminine®. All rights reserved worldwide.

Chic Pavlovians

Good morning Beautiful People!

Sometimes, I am amazed when educated adults instantly latch on to crowd hysteria. Because shopping during the sales is not a leisure activity: it is an addictive stimulant as hazardous as a battlefield, physically and financially. That is why astute preparation is mandatory. You must have mental discipline and physical strength in order to withstand aggressive elbows, razor sharp dagger fingernails, gladiator attacks, insults from the enemy, high-jacking of your purchases and the fights over must-have items. So you can imagine that donning war gear is a matter of life or death! Here is one version of how you can return home without incidence or with minimal injuries and loss of hair.

Sales Bell

To start, set your alarm clock to wake you 720 minutes before the shops open so that you will be the first to queue up for 25 hours in northern wind and rain, earthquake aftershocks and soup thick air pollution. Before heading for bed, get fully dressed (except for shoes) to save time. You will need Velcro© sneakers because flip-flops or thongs will not last two seconds: the soles will get smashed flatter than a pancake and the thongs will go flying between a hoard of legs…you might even find your feet missing a toe or two.

Next is the uniform: a pair of tattered jeans and T-shirt left over from the last sales, a worn out striptease bra and triple reinforced granny panties. Do not wear make-up; it will accentuate your swollen black eye. Omit hair jewelry as they could be used as weapons against you. Be sure to use heavy upholstery thread to attach your cash/bank card pouch to your panties…on the inside. Otherwise, during a scuffle with the enemy–no rule is the rule—you might end up arrested for indecent exposure.

Now to reach the summit of your shopping high, strut about with glaring haughtiness…proud to advertise famous brands by displaying oversized shopping bags that are cleverly designed to instigate jealousy and competitiveness in others and to encourage compulsive spending. Have you noticed how loudly they crinkle to draw attention? Big bags suggest you have spent 3000€ rather than 89€. That is why small items are loosely wrapped in extra large sheets of tissue paper…it stuffs the bag and gives it the appearance of fullness, which feeds your ego to appear privileged. Clever marketing, is it not?

Anyway, the seasonal sale promotion is nothing more than a highly effective marketing scheme to clear stock of stagnant or slow-moving merchandise. Have you noticed the normal price of standard articles? You will see that many are marked lower or at the same price of the on sale tag! Pay attention!

Back to the main point: Why do intelligent adults behave like Pavlov’s dogs?

According to various statistics over the years, women, slightly outnumbering men, are prone to compulsive shopping whether or not there are sales. They are apt to purchase objects to plug up holes of emptiness or to compensate for chronic dissatisfaction. Worse, they eagerly pay to be a guinea pig for experimental facial or whole body makeovers. Pharmaceutical and cosmetic medicine industries are in heaven! (I will elaborate on this in the next article.) To be fair, I do know of men who moonlight in order to make minimal payments on several almost maxed-out bank cards–they only wear haute couture and purchase the most expensive gadgets and pleasure technologies. So there you go.

Looking further, notice how people mindlessly trample over each other in a savage race to grab the most for the least. Only greed and arrogance can motivate you to “outsmart the merchant to get something for nearly nothing.” However, scarcity fears push you to spend foolishly in order to obtain limited editions of must-have stuff so you will be in step with other robots and hated by those who have not the means.

But functioning like a robot is unconsciousness. You are allowing other people to direct your behavior, tell you how to live, dictate your values and interests. That is to say, you are a willing slave of consumerism. Therefore, you have masters in other areas of your life. You are obsessed by the affairs of folks who do not value your attention because you are uninterested in your real self.

I think I can think

Now celebrate playing this game of life in any fashion that suits you in the moment. Just be CONSCIOUS, DELIBERATE and HONEST with you. Soon you will tire of the slave role and take responsibility for your own life. That is all I am suggesting.

Tell me: what are your insights, experiences? I would enjoy hearing from you.

So post your comments below before you forget. And if you find something useful in this blog, why not subscribe so you can receive email notification each time I publish a post. Also, I would be highly honored if you recommended this blog to others who might benefit. Thank you in advance.

Men Readers: Your comments are valuable too & highly welcomed! ;-))

Shall we meet up again in a few days?

Until then,

Allow happiness!

Tandi

Image credit: 1) © Mark Parisi, offthemark.com (from The Office – Rauno Villberg on Vimeo, shivaraichandani.blogspot.com); 2) Rene Baur 2001 oziserv.com/cleft

Copyright © 2010-2012 Thandiwe Chappot, thefemininefeminine®. All rights reserved worldwide.

A Humble Request

Good morning Beautiful People,

Well, bit by bit, I am learning more about how to improve the value of this blog. I have just added several  widgets. One is “ratings”.

My humble request is “Can you leave a rating for each of the posts you have read or will read, please?” I will use these ratings to determine what is most important to you. In this way, I can add content that will meet your needs. For my intention is to offer you value, not to hear me run off at the mouth…I do not need to blog for that!

Also, for your information, I have completely rewritten my About page.

Thank you very much.

Allow happiness!

Tandi

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